Perhaps it’s only an addiction; like how alcohol drives me crazy when I’m intoxicated. Perhaps it’s only the pleasure it gives me when I feel being appreciated and being taken cared of. Perhaps it’s just an illusion of having codependence with someone who will never get tired of me, yet I can handle my own happiness.
I am happy with my own company for a while, and I am being used to it. Everyone at my age is either getting engaged, getting married, or starting a family and here I am having no one by my side, but I can still live. It might cause pressure for me to settle down as well but I have always planned to do it once I am financially ready. I don’t know but although I have that mindset I still long for someone who will be by my side constantly when I am in bliss or when I am in pain. Is love a necessity in one’s life? Can you answer me, Maslow?
My heart has been broken a lot of times and yet I am still here, trying to find that someone who will truly accept who I am and reciprocate the feelings I have. People might say that I have a strong will to continue pursuing but I myself am on the verge of giving up. I have the option between waiting and being aggressive but I am not sure which one to side on. Anyway, I believe it is never too late because we have our own timeline and living is not a competition. What matters is if we enjoy it.
Actually I am currently courting that someone and I don’t see the light at the near end of the tunnel. Perhaps I need more time. Or more courage to stop.