Perhaps it’s only an addiction; like how alcohol drives me crazy when I’m intoxicated. Perhaps it’s only the pleasure it gives me when I feel being appreciated and being taken cared of. Perhaps it’s just an illusion of having codependence with someone who will never get tired of me, yet I can handle my own happiness.

I am happy with my own company for a while, and I am being used to it. Everyone at my age is either getting engaged, getting married, or starting a family and here I am having no one by my side, but I can still live. It might cause pressure for me to settle down as well but I have always planned to do it once I am financially ready. I don’t know but although I have that mindset I still long for someone who will be by my side constantly when I am in bliss or when I am in pain. Is love a necessity in one’s life? Can you answer me, Maslow?

My heart has been broken a lot of times and yet I am still here, trying to find that someone who will truly accept who I am and reciprocate the feelings I have. People might say that I have a strong will to continue pursuing but I myself am on the verge of giving up. I have the option between waiting and being aggressive but I am not sure which one to side on. Anyway, I believe it is never too late because we have our own timeline and living is not a competition. What matters is if we enjoy it.

Actually I am currently courting that someone and I don’t see the light at the near end of the tunnel. Perhaps I need more time. Or more courage to stop.

Let’s see.

5 thoughts on “l-o-v-e

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  1. Well love comes when we least expect it that much I can tell you because that is exactly what happened to me. When you find your best friend and someone that drives you crazy in bed you will know you have found the one. Maybe take the pressure off and then it will happen. Good luck my friend and stay safe and watch that alcohol, you don’t want to get dependent on that for anything. Hugs and love coming your way. Good Luck. Joni

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